 July 14, 2007 - To Loft or not to Loft - March 06, 2007 - American sojourn - February 15, 2007 - More Bad News...you'd think I'd be used to it by now - February 11, 2007 - Corporate America Rant continues - February 01, 2007 - Graduate Career Search in Corporate America is a Fucked Up Campaign - |
APHIE'S RANTS AND PIECES
January 30, 2004 - 10:49 p.m. - Haven't we heard aphie speak of impossible things a million times... I have not felt like updating in awhile. I have been enamored and somewhat brainwashed by a recent sexual partner that I forgot how distasteful sex was like and the men who lead us to believe that is not all they want while we relish in the sight of their ghastly members, deprived of our principles, rhyme reason and everything that is philosophical KR. But I have stepped out of my heart momentarily, seating in my brain to proclaim this tale of two hearts. I used to believe in impossible things. I still do just not as blindingly as I used to. How to obtain the impossible man, land the impossible job, score the impossible deal. At times, it comes so close that you think, faith is what gets you there, if I just had a little more faith and no self doubt whatsoever, I would have just touched it with just an inch. But when you are young, half the time it's your innocence talking leading you to believe, that there is so much life has to offer you when you get older so just trust, hope and believe and then, it would be yours. As I got older, so much has unfolded, so many disappointments, so many rejection calls, so many times I could taste success and then, defeat deprived me of it. So many times, too numerous to name. You start to ask yourself, what was that faith for? To test me or ridicule me. I just thought of it today. I think perhaps all of this week. One of my oldest friends turned 30 today. I've known her since I was 18. When you slowly grow old with someone it's like putting a mirror to your face at the dreams that were dashed. She is a virgin one of the oldest, truiest ones I've known. She has never dated anyone and is patiently waiting for that dark Prince to swoop her off her feet and marry her and thus deflower her. Isn't it a beautiful dream in some impossible finding that may never happen, so much that I just want to smack her into reality? I, on the other hand, have left my beliefs in an impossible gain behind, that's why I give my body and at times my love unselfishly knowing that if at all Prince Charming should come I know he isn't a virgin so he jolly well should not expect me to be. But if you've always believed, I mean truly believed in miracles, impossibilities, you would always wonder what if, what if he would have come if you had let that light shine a little longer. What if that impossible job, that incredible idea, that remarkable thing that sets you apart from the languish of mediocrity would have come to you if you had just remained steadfast in the faith that we've accepted and known for this time. I cannot say what my impossible dreams comprise of, they are too shameful even for me to pronounce, all I can say is, if you do, please believe, and if you don't, maybe it's time you hearkened to a belief that has not always been with you. What if...it works for you, cos' I know it has not worked for me. back track - fast forward - history aphie's chronicles - aphie's transcripts tell aphie you read her work - 
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