 July 14, 2007 - To Loft or not to Loft - March 06, 2007 - American sojourn - February 15, 2007 - More Bad News...you'd think I'd be used to it by now - February 11, 2007 - Corporate America Rant continues - February 01, 2007 - Graduate Career Search in Corporate America is a Fucked Up Campaign - |
APHIE'S RANTS AND PIECES
April 23, 2004 - 11:26 p.m. - This image of me which you see, is it real? I think my mirror and my imagination is lying to me. I dress up at home looking at myself closely in the mirror and it doesn't look that bad. I have large hips but nothing major, just like a large "hippied" woman. But then, I go out and when I pass a mirror, I glance at myself and there I am short and stodgy, fat like a Yoruba middle-aged woman, one of those women who make a living selling greasy rice and goat meat in the market with the glaring heat of the sun melting away some pounds, like someone who has had at least three children between the ages of 6-3. Like someone who is not about to turn 30 in a month and who's new years resolution included losing 30 pounds. Like someone who has not worked out in months. Like someone who needs to stop eating for months to lose at least an inch. Like someone who shouldn't wonder too much why she is single, because it is all in the hips. Certainly not like someone who has a big, huge outstanding crush on KR. Like a pathetic sad, fat woman. Like someone any of her exes would be proud they chose someone else except her. I summarised all these images of myself at the mall when every mirror just kept bringing up the same image and images of all the people described and nothing like the image of myself that I have in my memory. My mirror lies to me. And I am lying and deceiving myself otherwise. This is my new image, wake up and be it! I lost the promise to myself and this is strangely the prize I have to pay, this image of me every all the time until I do something about it. back track - fast forward - history aphie's chronicles - aphie's transcripts tell aphie you read her work - 
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